Speaking of translations. Menus Gone Awry.

Who was speaking of translations? Christer was on FB. Apparently, the English have a very difficult time translating their English into Welsh leaving many people confused at the road side.  See you just can’t trust Google translate to do it all for you. Admittedly my written Swedish is rudimentary at best, thus I try and make it a rule to send all public correspondence past the eyes of a native speaker. Not that they have it easy with me. If I don’t think their corrections stick to the feeling I am trying to convey I will argue it to the death. Heck, my English is questionable, a little something I need to work on.

Now, incorrectly translated menu’s keep me laughing.

This is probably a you had to be there, but I am telling you anyway. Unfortunately, I have no photographic proof, but I do have witnesses to back me up.

Once upon a time a handful of friends and I reserved a table at Mrs. Brown in Malmö. We were asked to order ahead of time and were sent a menu. We spent days discussing one of the side dishes, asparagus nuts.


-Wow, that sounds great I have never even heard of asparagus nuts, what do you think it is?

-No, idea but I love asparagus.

-I had no idea asparagus had nuts.

-Me either.  Did you know asparagus makes your pee smell.

-Hmmm really? I have never noticed, will have to keep that in mind next time I eat asparagus.

-So, asparagus nuts. Do you think it is the root?

-That would make sense. I really want to know! Maybe I won’t like it.

-Wonder if they make your pee smell too?

-Probably worse. Ahhh put me down for the fish with asparagus nuts. You only live once.


Finally a week later we asked our waiter to elaborate on the asparagus nuts.  Silence fell over the table as he began to answer, they are, you know, asparagus nuts.  A couple more questions of inquiry and we still we had nothing to go on. It was a wait and see moment.

Our plates arrived, scuse me but where are the asparagus nuts? Wait and see and all the anticipation turned into……. asparagus tips, T I P S. We were stymied by a translation error. We had a good giggle and took up the pee and asparagus discussion yet again. Still not sure if I have noticed any difference to be honest. Then again I can’t remember, remembering to think about it when it counts.

Bruised, braised close enough lessen you are of the bovine persuasion. Not quite like being massaged in beer now is it? This was found at Czech Point on Lilatorg in Malmö. And as Putterman pointed out I have ironically misspelled Lillatorg thus naming it the purple square rather than the small square which is its true name. Purple square has more umph. ; )

Beef bruised in Pilsner. Not quite like being massaged in beer now is it?

Beef bruised in Pilsner. Not quite like being massaged in beer now is it?